Why push pause on convenience

We live in a world obsessed with convenience.  We want what we want, when we want it, with as few barriers as possible.  Our desire for convenience has driven the growth of fast food (and drive-through), ATM machines and petrol stations that stock just. about. everything.  

We have demanded, and the world has answered - we want things not to be so inconvenient.  Or difficult.  Or such a struggle.  We want it easy.  Ease.  What's wrong with that...?  

In our bid to march relentlessly towards convenience, have we accidentally forgotten that we are inconvenient and we're supposed to be that way?  

I recently had a week where I painfully marinated in my own inconvenience to others.  Usually, I'm pretty good at facing conflict or difficult conversations.  And thanks to years of team sport, I've also developed the skill of not taking on "stuff" that doesn't belong with me.  But this particular week was different.  I squirmed uncomfortably, my heart rate was elevated for hours on end, and I procrastinated like never before.  It felt like being in the proverbial hot seat, and boy did it get hot!

I had to say "no" and "I disagree" and "I'm not going to change my mind".  Not to just be oppositional, but because it was the most loving thing I could do for myself.

Not giving others the convenient answer that they wanted resulted in adult-version tantrums from the people being inconvenienced by me.  Foot stomping was replaced by abrupt emails.  Threats instead of a 2-year old wailing and flailing.  We have been spoiled by convenience.   

My own life has a degree of convenience baked in.  Being white and therefore indigenous to the system we live in in Aotearoa gives me automatic entry to Convenienceville.  My heterosexuality = convenience compounded, I've never had to worry about being judged or hurt for the life or sexual partner I choose.  

With my feet to the fire of being an inconvenience to others, I'm reminded of all the people who face it more.  I give myself a stern talking to "if they can do it, I can too".  I trust my goodness and accept that inconveniencing others by my existence doesn't require me to change myself - especially the things that are important to me.  

Consider this: If people were to dislike all the choices you make, which ones would be most worth it to you? Hint: Maybe try the choices that best reflect who you are.

HERE'S THE THING

You can either be convenient to others, or you can be yourself - but you can't always be both.  

Stop hiding or staying small!  You are a dazzling, radiant speck of stardust wrapped in a meatsuit.  There will always be someone who doesn't like what you do, regardless of your choices because that's people. Isn't it time to please yourself?  Consider that the problems in your life could be because you're not giving yourself room to be you. 

The world needs you in it, without you the world would be incomplete.  I know it can feel lonely and scary - find people who are willing to see you for who you are.  

HERE'S THE SECOND THING...

It's not other people's job to provide you with limitless convenience.  

When others are going about their business, even though it might be different to how and what you choose, let them.  It's not their place to bend themselves out of shape to fit into your idea of "the way things are supposed to be".  This is the path to happiness and connectedness. 

My week of uber-inconvenience resulted in more strength. It gave me the chance to lean into the knowledge of my goodness and to affirm that my whole being responds to self-love. I'm more willing to find my own happiness and don't get so strung up on trying to make others happy.

A hui hou / see you in the flow,