Your biggest mess has a hidden gift…

WARNING: This story is going to touch on some of the personal and very real aspects about what happens when the custard hits the fan...  Spoiler: it all turns out okay ❤️

In a string of intended and unintended events, I found myself sitting in my car by the side of the road in 0°C praying that I wouldn't a) freeze to death or b) poop my pants before the 2-hr wait was over.  As intensely stressful as the crisis was, I also had time to consider: 

a) How did I manage to get myself into this situation?

b) How can I avoid this in the future?

There were obvious answers to these questions, but not many were about tow trucks or restroom facilities.  That's because these problems were more about the symptoms than the cause.

Do you ever find yourself in a situation wondering:

• What am I doing with my life?

• Why can't I get my act together?

• I can't continue on like this.

• How do I get out of this rut?

• In your mind's effort to provide you with all the answers, it might say

• You're overwhelmed

• You're in a rut

• You have a problem with procrastination

• You need a rest

Do the answers to these questions really change anything?  If they help you to be compassionate and loving towards yourself, despite challenging circumstances, that's great!  If it's perpetuating a problematic situation, let's look at it from a different angle.  

Imagine for a moment that your life can speak to you through events. If the events in your life are trying to show you something, what would it be?

STEP 1: Loosen your grip

How do you think things in your life are supposed to be right now? Holding on to this idea is causing you suffering.  For just a moment, loosen your grip on your life's expectations.  The way you're going about it isn't going to give you what you want anyway, so pause.

STEP 2: Take stock

List the things that are demanding your attention.  This is your life right now.  You don't have to like it, but if you're taking stock, you need to count it.

Step 3: Give yourself the credit

It's easy to take credit when results are good.  Now is not the time to abandon yourself and your power.  Do you know what's worse than driving an hour in the wrong direction?  Driving one hour and one minute in the wrong direction.  YOU are the driver. 

Step 4: Make a commitment

Make the decision to make a change. If you have a navigation problem, alter your course.  You can decide that today is the day that you're going to do something different.  

I was once asked how long it took for a person heal (another form of change). The wisdom presented to me was that it only takes one heartbeat. Your world can change in one heartbeat. How can that be so?

When you claim your power and decide to make a change, it is already done.  You can't un-cook an egg because it's already done. You can't undo an internal shift because it's already done.  My moment of deciding to make a change was while I was sitting in a freezing car praying for time to pass quickly.  It was time to really look at the cause of my crisis square in the eye. The sheer ridiculousness made me mad, which gave me conviction to declare:

"It's time to turn my ship around"

You see, my ship was heading for the rocks and I needed to alter course. The hidden gift of the situation heightened everything: my frustration, powerlessness, willingness to stop the pattern, willingness to go through the 4 Steps above.  

The problem isn't the procrastination, exhaustion or the rut, it's being able and willing to go inside yourself for the solution.  The solution lies in your ability and willingness to change your own mind.

Just like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, the power has been there all along, waiting and hoping you'd discover it. 

The story doesn't end here.  After all, we are creatures of habit!  Even though there are only new choices and new actions, by repeating actions and thoughts in alignment with your new choice you can habituate it.  In the meantime, things can be a little delicate.  

What’s your reality right now? Does something feel like an overwhelming mess?

Which area of your life have you not taken care of business the way you ought to?

With that in mind, here is what you’re going to do.

1 Get some clarity. Find a piece of paper and pen and draw a graph axis like this one above: Urgent vs Important. Not everything is equally important and urgent so plot all the things relating to Taking Care of Business, according to how urgent and important each one is. Then divide the graph into four sections. The top right section is the one you will make your top priority (1). The bottom left sector is the one to tackle last so put it on ice for a bit. Once you have area (1) under control, extend to (2) and then (3).  

2. Pick low-hanging fruit. In the top right sector of your graph, choose the point that is a) most easy to action b) takes the shortest amount of time c) can be actioned immediately. Fruit that is low-hanging is the easiest to pick. Getting something done will give you a little hit of good feelings, which will fuel you to tackle the next one.

3. Jedi mind tricks for action. Make inroads into your most Urgent/Important quadrant. Mel Robbins has a famous 5-Second Rule to change anything, where you count backwards from 5, and when you reach  1, you stand up and take the action. My own favourite strategy is called “Run screaming from the burning building” which sounds a little more dramatic but it gives me a feeling of more urgency. Let me explain: Have you ever been trying to get organised to get out the door and it takes forever? Me too! When I get sick of my own dithering, I will pretend that the house is on fire and I have to exit immediately. By doing this, I’ve shifted my priority to leaving instead of preparing to leave.

4. Pick the path of least resistance. This is not a contradiction.  It's a skill to know when to push and when to let go.  There might be some things in your red quadrant that seem least actionable, you feel most bad or least empowered about. Keeping on pushing in the same direction is not going to give you a different outcome, so give yourself a little rest. You will feel a better, which might give you a different perspective.

5. Hallucinate to self-regulate. Imagine someone who you admire greatly was in the room with you. It could be an iconic figure from history, a celebrity you admire or a person in your life who you respect deeply. Now think of a situation where you’ve felt “out of control”. If this person were in your presence, how would you behave differently? Congratulations, you’ve just proven to yourself that you do have the power to control yourself.  

HERE'S THE SQUEEZE

Your life isn’t supposed to be agony. It's not about what happens, rather how you are while life is happening.  

If you’re in pain you’re either a) denying the current circumstance or b) out of alignment with the natural order of your life (your essence).

If all areas of your life feel bad right now, focus on the thing that feels least bad.  You can take care of the demands in your life and you can create a life with ease, enjoyment and even fun.  It's not as far away as you think it is.  

Sending you an abundance of love,